I am Joanna Hartworth, also known as Joan Fang, married to Daryl Fang. I am 35 years old and have two twin daughters. One of twin daughters got abducted and was killed by kidnappers. Till today, I cannot get over this fact.

I thought that my life would always be perfect after my happy marriage with Daryl, after giving birth to two healthy identical daughters, but no. My life before marriage was already horrible; I was poor, and lived in a crammy place with my neurotic parents and eleven siblings, who were all little children.We were suppose to be evicted from our unhygienic home and shifted to a better one, but my parents refused.They said our home was perfect. So, the big family of fourteen stayed for 19 years, while I suffered under my parent’s control, starving when there was not enough food for everyone, getting caned and yelled for no reason.

Hope came when I met Daryl at a supermarket, or rather outside it, when I was a beggar. I had no money, no home, nothing. I didn’t notice him at first, but he approached me, saying, “Miss, are you okay?” I couldn’t take it any longer, hunger and the yearn for warmth, that I spilled my situation, near to breaking down. Daryl sympathised me and took me to his home. From there, we fell in love. We married the next year and had our twin daughters too. Life was such a bliss. Just when I thought everything could be so perfect, suddenly this happened. I don’t understand why. Why?

12 September 1999
I woke up early to get ready breakfast for everyone. I went to the kitchen and cooked up two sunny side-ups, one for Terra and Daryl. Next, I poured Honey stars into two bowls, for Tessa and I. I knew exactly what everyone liked, even adding milk to Tessa’s bowl while mine is plain and nice.

We all loved orange juice and I poured four cups of it. The cups were all decorated by the four of us, all colourful and pretty. Tessa’s one was the brightest one with a rainbow painted around the cup. I remembered while we were painting the cups, she said,

“I want my life to be as colourful as a rainbow. But, to let my life be like a rainbow, I have to face the rain and storm. Then, the sun will shine on me and finally, a rainbow will come.”
I found that very mature, to say these sort of inspirational words. Tessa made me wonder about so many things.

I shouted up to them to get up. No one moved, as usual. I went up, carrying a feather duster. Their room was painted bright pink and it was fully lit by the time the sun rose. There was a shelf of ponies stacked neatly on every available space.

Terra and Tessa loved ponies and riding them every weekend. They both had a pony each. Terra’s one was Desirae and Tessa’s one was Beauty. Both of them wanted Desirae at first because it was much more beautiful and obedient. They childishly yelled each other all day long. No matter how much we told them that one of them can choose another pony, they shouted in unison, “That’s unfair!” I didn’t know what to do, and was stressed out soon. I couldn’t stand loud noises and had a problem of “getting out of hand” when it went too far. Unexpectedly, Tessa noticed my reaction, and stopped their little fuss. She said with a sense of maturity, “Terra, it’s okay. I will choose another pony.” Daryl and I were plain shocked, and praised her. She even said, “No, really. Terra should have Desirae.” She smiled sincerely. But, Terra was all annoyed and proud. She folded her arms, “Mummy’s pet.” Terra then stuck out her tongue at Tessa, stomping away, furious at Tessa’s big change of attitude. I felt that Tessa was more like Daryl, kind and mature, while Terra was more like me, arrogant and petty. They were identical yet had split personalities.

When we brought the twins to the stable to choose the pony, Terra was still petty in the car. Whenever Tessa nudged Terra to look out of the window to look at something, she folded her arms, ignored her and turn away. I gently scolded her, “Terra, don’t be like this.” She looked at me with shocked eyes. Suddenly, she wailed. “You’re sho unfairrrrrrr!” She banged the front seat with her small fists. “You always treat Tessa better! No, not for me! You scold me not her!” She screamed at the top of her voice. I covered my ears, everything a blur. Daryl saw me, pained by my reaction, and yelled at Terra harshly. “SHUT UP, TERRA!” He gave her a tight slap. I gasped, and was afraid to look at her expression.

She was shocked, expressionless. Tears flowed endlessly. We had stopped by the road side, the road was silent and scary. Her teardrops made her dress wet. Daryl, looking remorse for slapping a seven-year-old child, put his head on the wheel. I didn’t know what to do too. Tessa was stiff, as if she was frozen and could not move. She made the first move and touched Terra’s shoulder. “Don’t cry, I love you.” She sounded like an angel.Terra’s eyes became hard red when she stared at Tessa blankly. She was speechless for a moment, and out of a sudden, hugged her twin sister dearly. “I love you too!” Her tears dropped onto Tessa’s dress, like they were free and happy that she had support. It was such a great moment for both of them, for both us too, that they loved each other again.

Terra apologised on the way to the stable and we quickly forgived her. Daryl gave a personal apology, saying, “Terra dear, I’m sorry that I did.. that. I won’t do that again.” Terra smiled more naturally and replied, “It’s okay, Daddy. I love you.” She pecked him on the cheek. He whispered happily, “Love you too.”

While we were selecting Tessa’s pony, Terra was holding Tessa’s hand tightly, helping her choose too. No signs of arrogance. When we approached a sandy-coloured pony with a black mane, Tessa was mesmerised by it. She pointed to it, “I want that one. She’s beautiful.” Terra made a disgusted sound but quickly took it back, “Sorry, but it doesn’t look that nice.” Tessa laughed, not getting offended at all. I agreed with Terra, it didn’t seem very attractive, with its messy charcoal mane and dirty sandy colour. Daryl suprisingly agreed too, “Tessa dear, don’t worry about the cost. We can afford it. You can choose a prettier pony.” Tessa shook her amazingly soft brown hair and touched the pony’s head. It snuggled around her touch, giving Tessa a friendly neigh. “She’s just right.” “How did ya’ know it was a ‘she’, missy?” The stable keeper touched the pony, grinning at Tessa. “This is Beauty. Ain’t she a beauty?” She laughed at her own joke. Wow, I was shocked at it’s name. Tessa shrugged, “Just figured it out by instincts. And yeah, she is a beauty.” Beauty neighed in delight, seeming to like the praise she was getting. We bought Beauty immediately, naming it a ‘Fang’. When Beauty came out of the its stable, Tessa hugged her, and I could make out the words that she whispered softly to her. “No matter what people think of you, if they thought you were ugly or not attractive, through my eyes, you’re the most beautiful pony I’ve seen and will be always. Have faith in yourself.” She kissed her head, and Beauty neighed again in pleasure. Straight away, they both had a very close relationship, none of us could understand.

Next to the cluttered shelf, were pony drawings and books. Okay, put it simply, everything is their room was about ponies. Pony curtains, pony shoes, pony bedsheet, pony table lamp, even pony toothbrushes! They loved the same thing; everything. I touched the painting Terra and Tessa drew together. It was two paintings, joined to become one. Both drew themselves riding their ponies at the riding club. Strangely, I only realised that day, that Terra’s side of the drawing was much more messier and Tessa’s one was neat and organised. It looked perfectly the same the other time.

Then, I turned around to look at their other drawings, and noticed the time on the clock. “Oh my! Eight o’clock already! That was quick!” I hurried to the girls’ bright pink pony bed. Even the bed stand was painted with flying ponies. I put the feather duster behind my back, just in case I need it.

“Wakee wakee, girls! School time!” I shook them gently. “Aww, mummy! Let us sleep a little longer!” Terra murmurred, and let out a loud yawn. Tessa was still fast asleep. “C’mon! Aren’t you both ready to have fun at school? Well, I’m all ready and up to go to work! C’mon sleepyheads!” I shook and shook but they still won’t get up. I smiled and took out my secret weapon – the feather duster.

“Tickle, tickle! Coochie, coochie!” The girls roared into laughter. “No, no! Ha ha!” Tessa was laughing and rocking all over. Terra could be easily tickled and waken up as soon as I tickled her soft belly. When both of them was finally awake, they jumped down their bed, hands together. I sighed happily, as I didn’t need to worry.

After a nice and warm breakfast as a whole family, I brought the two girls to school on my way to work. Daryl was a manager at a famous company, fortunately. The girls wore their green floral-patterned collar dress. It was plain dark green, sleeveless but it looked pretty on them; innocent. They wore their shiny black shoes, with little black socks. I tied Terra’s long brown hair into a ponytail while I tied Tessa’s into a long plait. After dressing up, we headed for the door. I kissed Daryl on the cheek, he kissed me back. The girls held back their giggles. “Girls,” Daryl kissed them both too, with only Terra feeling disgusted. Tessa pecked him back, smiling enthusiasticly. “Now off you girls go! Have fun!” Daryl waved us off, getting ready his suitcase to leave too.

The girls hopped merrily to school, their hands still tight together; like they would never let go. Everyone they passed cooed at them, and looked at me, probably thinking how lucky I am to have two perfect little twins. I grinned back them too, knowing that they were the two best things in my life.

“Bye, mummy!” Terra and Tessa waved in unison, running off to play at the playground in the school. I waved back, sighing again, happily. I felt so happy, I didn’t need to worry as they were safe.

Also not safe, because there were actually two big crazy men after them.

I rewind to the time, when I was still a beggar.

Outside the supermarket, in the cold and loneliness. I seeked help from strangers, some would shoo me away in disgust or give me a few coins. Whatever it was they did, I cried. I was such a disgrace, to myself and to the world.

Then, one time, two men walked past me quickly. I begged them for food, kneeling on their shoes. One of them shooed me away with a stick I shockingly noticed. I backed away, frightened. The second man, pitied me, spoke gently, “ Miss, do you need help?” He sounded friendly so I responded by nodding my head. The first man tried to persuade him to not do anything for me, whispering that I was filthy and disgusting. I gave a loud snarl, I hated being called ‘filthy and disgusting’. The first man jumped back, shocked that I was also such a ‘beast’. “See! She’s a disgusting dog! Don’t help her, Glen!” However, Glen, seeming impressed with my beastliness, picked me up by the elbow. I shook him off quickly. He didn’t look offended and asked me with a smile, “How would you like to get a job with us?”

He glared at Glen. “How could you ask someone like her to do our job?!” “Dennis -” He interrupted him, banging the table. “NO, Glen! You’re insane! A girl! Haven’t even you imagine how she will cope with what we do! And what do we do? We kill people.” “Sshhh! Don’t say that now!” Glen whispered.”WHAT! In the end, we’re still going to go tell her, right?” Dennis felt like he was going to explode in the room. “Yes, we are. But, we need the help.” “We need help to kill innocent people, wow. Glen, you just lost it.” He went out of the small store room, with a only a hanging light bulb shining through the darkness. He slammed it hard on Glen, and walked away, avoiding my stares. I was sitting on a old, spolied couch in a dirty and smelly house, just like my former one. I couldn’t stand the smell of smoke, and pinched my nose tightly. “Get used to that, girl.” I jumped and turned around, seeing Glen puffing away. “Urgh.” He laughed. I stared at him as if he just spoke alien. “Hey, can’t I laugh for a moment? Oh, Dennis…Don’t care about him, he’s always like that.” It’s like he was reading the questions in my mind off my face. “Am I that readable?” I asked innocently. “Yeah, you are.” He smiled sincerely. “And you will get a shock in what your job is. But, please, do not scream.” He grinned and went back to the store room, leaving me horribly curious.

It struck twelve when both of them finally came out. They had a paper and a pen with them. “Girl, we’re gonna’ confess something to you, but you have to vow to not tell anyone.” Dennis grudgingly said. I didn’t say anything. “Well?” He said with a fierce voice. “Den,” “NO, I want to see if she can be trusted.” He was back to his usual self. “Fine.” Glen agreed, and spoke, “Girl? Swear now that you will keep everything we do secret. Lips,” He put his finger across his lips. I didn’t understand and just sat doing nothing. Dennis flared up and pointed the middle finger at me. “Now look here girl, swear or die!” Suddenly, he took out a knife from his right ankle. It was shiny and sharp when it came near my sweaty neck. “Den!” He tried stopping him but Dennis forcefully pushed him back and yelled, “Stop acting like some stupid hero, okay, Glen Hawkins? We are crooks, sin-doing crooks! We murder innocent people for no particular reason or another! Just shut the hell up!” Glen became awfully quiet, like what all Dennis said was true, and he didn’t want to fight back. I was afraid as I looked into Dennis’s glowing red eyes. I was helpless and just stupidly did what he said. “I, Joanna Hartworth, swear that I will never tell anyone about what both of you do.” Dennis smiled with an evil grin. “Good, Joanna.” He went to Glen side and picked him up. “See?”

Both of them brought me to a room. It was coloured red all over, with black covers covering something. It was protruding in every way. “What’s this?” I asked. Glen answered, “Well, since you know what we do, you are also going to be one of us.” I gulped. He laughed again, now ‘scaring’ Dennis. “I like you, Jo.” I tried to smile but couldn’t. I was liked by a murderer, what could be worse?

I controlled my fear as he took out the covers, unveiling all sorts of destructions. I held back a gasp when I saw a rifle. Suddenly, bad memories would soon flow in. I covered my ears in pain, inflicted by the time my grandmother was cruelly shot by a burgler with a rifle, the sound of the shot piercing. I was right there beside her when it all happened, suffering the pain she had. Glen and Dennis looked at me. Dennis ran out of the house while, Glen was worried, and tried to help me. “Jo, Jo! What’s wrong?” I screamed at the top of my voice, “NO! NO! STOP IT! COVER IT!” Glen quickly knew what I was talking about and covered the rifle with the black cover. I immediately calmed down, and I realised I was rocking back and forth on my knees. Glen was beside me, wiping my sweat. “Get away from me!” I screamed again, and moved away from him. “Jo, don’t this.” He went up closer to me. “I hate you! I can’t stand this place!” I covered my ears in pain again, pulling my hair, as the memories tortured me violently. “Sorry, dear - ” “DON’T CALL ME DEAR!” I violently pushed him aside and ran out of the horrible room.
I wanted to escape this hell, get away and forgot what had all happened. Just as I was about to reach the metal door, Dennis grabbed me by the shirt, strangling me. “Where do you think you’re going, missy?” He roared. “You’re not thinking of telling us off, are you? When you just sweared your head off?” He threw me on the ground easily and put his dirty boots on my head. “Now listen, missy, you better shut ur bloody mouth up and stay where you are or you kick the bucket right away!” His breath was as smelly as a dog’s poo. “Den! What the hell are you doing!” Glen ran to my side, shoving Dennis’s leg away. He pulled me up by his side, “Joanna, are you okay?” He tried smoothing my hair with his hand but I flicked it away. I grumbled and pushed him away. Dennis smirked, “Seems that missy doesn’t like you, Glen.” He punched him hard in the stomach, but Dennis didn’t flinched. “Whatever, bastard. As if any girl will like you, you will beat anyone you see!” That offended him a lot. “Say that again! You better keep your crap shut too!” He hit Glen’s jaw with his metal-like fist, disjointing it effectively. One hit came after one another, I couldn’t stand it. The blood was gushing everywhere, making it seem like an artist spraying red all over a destroyed painting. This was slowly making me insane. I was going to die from insanity. The insanity of suffering was killing me with its silent violent. But, I was not going to let it. I crept into the hell room again, remembering an open window on the end of the room. I shielded my eyes from the destructive display, while I looked forward to my sweet escape.

Luckily, the window was a bar-less one, unlike the front door, and cold wind was blowing through it. I shivered but I tolerated as I slowly climbed out of the window. Fortunately again, the house was flat and had only one story. I jumped with caution, so to not interrupt their stupid fight. As soon as I got out of my nightmare, I ran and ran and ran with my little strength. Then, I passed by a police station. I didn’t know if I should, but I followed my heart and entered with confidence, knowing it was the right choice.

I left the station, the burden lifted from my heart when I reported everything to them. They were shocked by what I said, nearly not even believing me, but I kept telling them that it was all true and honest. They wanted to keep me in for more investigations but I objected. I didn’t want to see the look on Glen’s face; it would sent shivers down my spine. They surprisingly understood and allowed me to leave, without even taking my name and address down.
I headed for the supermarket again. At least it wasn’t hell.

After some days later, I saw newspapers filled with headlines, “MURDERERS FINALLY CAUGHT” I didn’t understand why I suddenly felt guilty. Guilty because Glen was so nice to me, at least he tried. And he was a murderer. Maybe he was trying to change for the better, that’s why he needed me. But, why was I that special one to change him? I shook my head, pain flowing instantly into my head. Customers was scared; as if I was a mad woman, ready to pounce on anyone. One of the customers, an old lady, touched my scruffled hair, “Dear, are you okay?” Shocked, I moved away. It was my mother. She had aged so much. “Mum?” The old lady chuckled. “Mum? I’m not your mum, darling.” She didn’t recognise me at all. “If I were your mum, I wouldn’t let you be in this sort of poor condition.” She quietly left, without anymore to say. Teardrops continuously fell on the newspaper cutting of Glen, getting locked away for life.

I woke up from my delusion, alighting at my stop, but soon into another one. When Glen called me.

The family was eating dinner together in the living room, while watching cartoons. The girls were giggling at Spongebob Squarepants, who was surely making a fool of himself. Terra laughed loudly until all the food in her mouth flew everywhere on the table. “Terra!” Daryl scolded, and used a tissue paper to clean it up. “Oh, Terra darling, you have to have more table manners.” I rubbed her head, while she continued laughing her head off. Then, the house phone rang. Tessa ran to get it before I could.

“Hello, may I know who’s this?”

“No, this isn’t Joanna Hartworth.”

“Are you looking for her? Okay, hold on.”

She ran to me with the cordless phone. “Mummy, it’s a man called Glen Hawkins. Do you know him?”

The blood in my veins froze but the beat of my heart increased.

Glen Hawkins? Glen, the murderer, who liked me years ago? Daryl looked at me cautiously, afraid that I would burst again. “Joan, you alright?” I nodded quickly, didn’t know if to answer the phone. “Who’s this Glen?” He asked suspiciously. “Oh, just a friend.” I replied blankly. “Mummy,” Tessa pushed on. “You can’t make someone wait for you.”

I was shocked at what Tessa said, remembering that time a girl called her and she was taking her time. I told her exactly what she said. Regrets screamed at my ears.

Taking the phone off her hand, I rushed into the kitchen.

I carefully placed the phone on my ear, not touching it; afraid suddenly a knife would cut through the phone.

“H-hhello?”

“Hi, dear.”

I gulped.

“So, how’s life? Great having a family of your own, isn’t it?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Aww, don’t be like this. Say something.”

I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Sorry, Glen! Sorry, sorry!” I burst into tears, but I tried to make it silent as possible.

He smirked. I could make out what he silently said,

“Bitch.”

There was silence between us. Did Glen held a grudge against me like Dennis? Of course, he did.

“You know, you really changed my life?” He finally spoke. He seemed to be talking to someone

else too.

I foolishly replied, “I did?”

He laughed. “Yes.” His voice was gentle.

Then, he shouted harshly, “I WAS GOING TO GET HANGED! I TELL YOU, HANGED! I BET YOU MUST LOVE THE FACT THAT I WAS GONNA BE GONE, RIGHT?” He laughed, but now I could hear any evil edge to it.

He continued,

“BUT I AM FREE NOW! NO MORE SICKENING ROOM MATES, OR SOME STINKY DISGUSTING FOOD! I’M FREE TO DO ANYTHING, LIKE …LIKE,KILL YOUR HAPPINESS!” I heard the wicked laughter of two men. Dennis was still there. They both had escaped.

“I WAS WRONG TO HAVE LIKED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE, JO!”

I gulped again at the nickname he gave me.

“YOU’RE A FILTHY ****ING BITCH WHO ONLY KNOWS HOW TO GO SPREAD IT, RATHER THAN KEEP IT SEALED. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JO DEAR! BYE SWEETHEART! SEE YOU AT THE FUNERAL!”

He put down the phone. He just put down my life.

As the days slowly passed, I feared every single day, that my girls would just disappear.

I am Joanna Hartworth, also known as Joan Fang, married to Daryl Fang. I am 35 years old and have two twin daughters. One of twin daughters got abducted and was killed by kidnappers. Till today, I cannot get over this fact.

I thought that my life would always be perfect after my happy marriage with Daryl, after giving birth to two healthy identical daughters, but no. My life before marriage was already horrible; I was poor, and lived in a crammy place with my neurotic parents and eleven siblings, who were all little children.We were suppose to be evicted from our unhygienic home and shifted to a better one, but my parents refused.They said our home was perfect. So, the big family of fourteen stayed for 19 years, while I suffered under my parent’s control, starving when there was not enough food for everyone, getting caned and yelled for no reason.

Hope came when I met Daryl at a supermarket, or rather outside it, when I was a beggar. I had no money, no home, nothing. I didn’t notice him at first, but he approached me, saying, “Miss, are you okay?” I couldn’t take it any longer, hunger and the yearn for warmth, that I spilled my situation, near to breaking down. Daryl sympathised me and took me to his home. From there, we fell in love. We married the next year and had our twin daughters too. Life was such a bliss. Just when I thought everything could be so perfect, suddenly this happened. I don’t understand why. Why?

12 September 1999
I woke up early to get ready breakfast for everyone. I went to the kitchen and cooked up two sunny side-ups, one for Terra and Daryl. Next, I poured Honey stars into two bowls, for Tessa and I. I knew exactly what everyone liked, even adding milk to Tessa’s bowl while mine is plain and nice.

We all loved orange juice and I poured four cups of it. The cups were all decorated by the four of us, all colourful and pretty. Tessa’s one was the brightest one with a rainbow painted around the cup. I remembered while we were painting the cups, she said,

“I want my life to be as colourful as a rainbow. But, to let my life be like a rainbow, I have to face the rain and storm. Then, the sun will shine on me and finally, a rainbow will come.”
I found that very mature, to say these sort of inspirational words. Tessa made me wonder about so many things.

I shouted up to them to get up. No one moved, as usual. I went up, carrying a feather duster. Their room was painted bright pink and it was fully lit by the time the sun rose. There was a shelf of ponies stacked neatly on every available space.

Terra and Tessa loved ponies and riding them every weekend. They both had a pony each. Terra’s one was Desirae and Tessa’s one was Beauty. Both of them wanted Desirae at first because it was much more beautiful and obedient. They childishly yelled each other all day long. No matter how much we told them that one of them can choose another pony, they shouted in unison, “That’s unfair!” I didn’t know what to do, and was stressed out soon. I couldn’t stand loud noises and had a problem of “getting out of hand” when it went too far. Unexpectedly, Tessa noticed my reaction, and stopped their little fuss. She said with a sense of maturity, “Terra, it’s okay. I will choose another pony.” Daryl and I were plain shocked, and praised her. She even said, “No, really. Terra should have Desirae.” She smiled sincerely. But, Terra was all annoyed and proud. She folded her arms, “Mummy’s pet.” Terra then stuck out her tongue at Tessa, stomping away, furious at Tessa’s big change of attitude. I felt that Tessa was more like Daryl, kind and mature, while Terra was more like me, arrogant and petty. They were identical yet had split personalities.

When we brought the twins to the stable to choose the pony, Terra was still petty in the car. Whenever Tessa nudged Terra to look out of the window to look at something, she folded her arms, ignored her and turn away. I gently scolded her, “Terra, don’t be like this.” She looked at me with shocked eyes. Suddenly, she wailed. “You’re sho unfairrrrrrr!” She banged the front seat with her small fists. “You always treat Tessa better! No, not for me! You scold me not her!” She screamed at the top of her voice. I covered my ears, everything a blur. Daryl saw me, pained by my reaction, and yelled at Terra harshly. “SHUT UP, TERRA!” He gave her a tight slap. I gasped, and was afraid to look at her expression.

She was shocked, expressionless. Tears flowed endlessly. We had stopped by the road side, the road was silent and scary. Her teardrops made her dress wet. Daryl, looking remorse for slapping a seven-year-old child, put his head on the wheel. I didn’t know what to do too. Tessa was stiff, as if she was frozen and could not move. She made the first move and touched Terra’s shoulder. “Don’t cry, I love you.” She sounded like an angel.Terra’s eyes became hard red when she stared at Tessa blankly. She was speechless for a moment, and out of a sudden, hugged her twin sister dearly. “I love you too!” Her tears dropped onto Tessa’s dress, like they were free and happy that she had support. It was such a great moment for both of them, for both us too, that they loved each other again.

Terra apologised on the way to the stable and we quickly forgived her. Daryl gave a personal apology, saying, “Terra dear, I’m sorry that I did.. that. I won’t do that again.” Terra smiled more naturally and replied, “It’s okay, Daddy. I love you.” She pecked him on the cheek. He whispered happily, “Love you too.”

While we were selecting Tessa’s pony, Terra was holding Tessa’s hand tightly, helping her choose too. No signs of arrogance. When we approached a sandy-coloured pony with a black mane, Tessa was mesmerised by it. She pointed to it, “I want that one. She’s beautiful.” Terra made a disgusted sound but quickly took it back, “Sorry, but it doesn’t look that nice.” Tessa laughed, not getting offended at all. I agreed with Terra, it didn’t seem very attractive, with its messy charcoal mane and dirty sandy colour. Daryl suprisingly agreed too, “Tessa dear, don’t worry about the cost. We can afford it. You can choose a prettier pony.” Tessa shook her amazingly soft brown hair and touched the pony’s head. It snuggled around her touch, giving Tessa a friendly neigh. “She’s just right.” “How did ya’ know it was a ‘she’, missy?” The stable keeper touched the pony, grinning at Tessa. “This is Beauty. Ain’t she a beauty?” She laughed at her own joke. Wow, I was shocked at it’s name. Tessa shrugged, “Just figured it out by instincts. And yeah, she is a beauty.” Beauty neighed in delight, seeming to like the praise she was getting. We bought Beauty immediately, naming it a ‘Fang’. When Beauty came out of the its stable, Tessa hugged her, and I could make out the words that she whispered softly to her. “No matter what people think of you, if they thought you were ugly or not attractive, through my eyes, you’re the most beautiful pony I’ve seen and will be always. Have faith in yourself.” She kissed her head, and Beauty neighed again in pleasure. Straight away, they both had a very close relationship, none of us could understand.

Next to the cluttered shelf, were pony drawings and books. Okay, put it simply, everything is their room was about ponies. Pony curtains, pony shoes, pony bedsheet, pony table lamp, even pony toothbrushes! They loved the same thing; everything. I touched the painting Terra and Tessa drew together. It was two paintings, joined to become one. Both drew themselves riding their ponies at the riding club. Strangely, I only realised that day, that Terra’s side of the drawing was much more messier and Tessa’s one was neat and organised. It looked perfectly the same the other time.

Then, I turned around to look at their other drawings, and noticed the time on the clock. “Oh my! Eight o’clock already! That was quick!” I hurried to the girls’ bright pink pony bed. Even the bed stand was painted with flying ponies. I put the feather duster behind my back, just in case I need it.

“Wakee wakee, girls! School time!” I shook them gently. “Aww, mummy! Let us sleep a little longer!” Terra murmurred, and let out a loud yawn. Tessa was still fast asleep. “C’mon! Aren’t you both ready to have fun at school? Well, I’m all ready and up to go to work! C’mon sleepyheads!” I shook and shook but they still won’t get up. I smiled and took out my secret weapon – the feather duster.

“Tickle, tickle! Coochie, coochie!” The girls roared into laughter. “No, no! Ha ha!” Tessa was laughing and rocking all over. Terra could be easily tickled and waken up as soon as I tickled her soft belly. When both of them was finally awake, they jumped down their bed, hands together. I sighed happily, as I didn’t need to worry.

After a nice and warm breakfast as a whole family, I brought the two girls to school on my way to work. Daryl was a manager at a famous company, fortunately. The girls wore their green floral-patterned collar dress. It was plain dark green, sleeveless but it looked pretty on them; innocent. They wore their shiny black shoes, with little black socks. I tied Terra’s long brown hair into a ponytail while I tied Tessa’s into a long plait. After dressing up, we headed for the door. I kissed Daryl on the cheek, he kissed me back. The girls held back their giggles. “Girls,” Daryl kissed them both too, with only Terra feeling disgusted. Tessa pecked him back, smiling enthusiasticly. “Now off you girls go! Have fun!” Daryl waved us off, getting ready his suitcase to leave too.

The girls hopped merrily to school, their hands still tight together; like they would never let go. Everyone they passed cooed at them, and looked at me, probably thinking how lucky I am to have two perfect little twins. I grinned back them too, knowing that they were the two best things in my life.

“Bye, mummy!” Terra and Tessa waved in unison, running off to play at the playground in the school. I waved back, sighing again, happily. I felt so happy, I didn’t need to worry as they were safe.

Also not safe, because there were actually two big crazy men after them.

I rewind to the time, when I was still a beggar.

Outside the supermarket, in the cold and loneliness. I seeked help from strangers, some would shoo me away in disgust or give me a few coins. Whatever it was they did, I cried. I was such a disgrace, to myself and to the world.

Then, one time, two men walked past me quickly. I begged them for food, kneeling on their shoes. One of them shooed me away with a stick I shockingly noticed. I backed away, frightened. The second man, pitied me, spoke gently, “ Miss, do you need help?” He sounded friendly so I responded by nodding my head. The first man tried to persuade him to not do anything for me, whispering that I was filthy and disgusting. I gave a loud snarl, I hated being called ‘filthy and disgusting’. The first man jumped back, shocked that I was also such a ‘beast’. “See! She’s a disgusting dog! Don’t help her, Glen!” However, Glen, seeming impressed with my beastliness, picked me up by the elbow. I shook him off quickly. He didn’t look offended and asked me with a smile, “How would you like to get a job with us?”

He glared at Glen. “How could you ask someone like her to do our job?!” “Dennis -” He interrupted him, banging the table. “NO, Glen! You’re insane! A girl! Haven’t even you imagine how she will cope with what we do! And what do we do? We kill people.” “Sshhh! Don’t say that now!” Glen whispered.”WHAT! In the end, we’re still going to go tell her, right?” Dennis felt like he was going to explode in the room. “Yes, we are. But, we need the help.” “We need help to kill innocent people, wow. Glen, you just lost it.” He went out of the small store room, with a only a hanging light bulb shining through the darkness. He slammed it hard on Glen, and walked away, avoiding my stares. I was sitting on a old, spolied couch in a dirty and smelly house, just like my former one. I couldn’t stand the smell of smoke, and pinched my nose tightly. “Get used to that, girl.” I jumped and turned around, seeing Glen puffing away. “Urgh.” He laughed. I stared at him as if he just spoke alien. “Hey, can’t I laugh for a moment? Oh, Dennis…Don’t care about him, he’s always like that.” It’s like he was reading the questions in my mind off my face. “Am I that readable?” I asked innocently. “Yeah, you are.” He smiled sincerely. “And you will get a shock in what your job is. But, please, do not scream.” He grinned and went back to the store room, leaving me horribly curious.

It struck twelve when both of them finally came out. They had a paper and a pen with them. “Girl, we’re gonna’ confess something to you, but you have to vow to not tell anyone.” Dennis grudgingly said. I didn’t say anything. “Well?” He said with a fierce voice. “Den,” “NO, I want to see if she can be trusted.” He was back to his usual self. “Fine.” Glen agreed, and spoke, “Girl? Swear now that you will keep everything we do secret. Lips,” He put his finger across his lips. I didn’t understand and just sat doing nothing. Dennis flared up and pointed the middle finger at me. “Now look here girl, swear or die!” Suddenly, he took out a knife from his right ankle. It was shiny and sharp when it came near my sweaty neck. “Den!” He tried stopping him but Dennis forcefully pushed him back and yelled, “Stop acting like some stupid hero, okay, Glen Hawkins? We are crooks, sin-doing crooks! We murder innocent people for no particular reason or another! Just shut the hell up!” Glen became awfully quiet, like what all Dennis said was true, and he didn’t want to fight back. I was afraid as I looked into Dennis’s glowing red eyes. I was helpless and just stupidly did what he said. “I, Joanna Hartworth, swear that I will never tell anyone about what both of you do.” Dennis smiled with an evil grin. “Good, Joanna.” He went to Glen side and picked him up. “See?”

Both of them brought me to a room. It was coloured red all over, with black covers covering something. It was protruding in every way. “What’s this?” I asked. Glen answered, “Well, since you know what we do, you are also going to be one of us.” I gulped. He laughed again, now ‘scaring’ Dennis. “I like you, Jo.” I tried to smile but couldn’t. I was liked by a murderer, what could be worse?

I controlled my fear as he took out the covers, unveiling all sorts of destructions. I held back a gasp when I saw a rifle. Suddenly, bad memories would soon flow in. I covered my ears in pain, inflicted by the time my grandmother was cruelly shot by a burgler with a rifle, the sound of the shot piercing. I was right there beside her when it all happened, suffering the pain she had. Glen and Dennis looked at me. Dennis ran out of the house while, Glen was worried, and tried to help me. “Jo, Jo! What’s wrong?” I screamed at the top of my voice, “NO! NO! STOP IT! COVER IT!” Glen quickly knew what I was talking about and covered the rifle with the black cover. I immediately calmed down, and I realised I was rocking back and forth on my knees. Glen was beside me, wiping my sweat. “Get away from me!” I screamed again, and moved away from him. “Jo, don’t this.” He went up closer to me. “I hate you! I can’t stand this place!” I covered my ears in pain again, pulling my hair, as the memories tortured me violently. “Sorry, dear - ” “DON’T CALL ME DEAR!” I violently pushed him aside and ran out of the horrible room.
I wanted to escape this hell, get away and forgot what had all happened. Just as I was about to reach the metal door, Dennis grabbed me by the shirt, strangling me. “Where do you think you’re going, missy?” He roared. “You’re not thinking of telling us off, are you? When you just sweared your head off?” He threw me on the ground easily and put his dirty boots on my head. “Now listen, missy, you better shut ur bloody mouth up and stay where you are or you kick the bucket right away!” His breath was as smelly as a dog’s poo. “Den! What the hell are you doing!” Glen ran to my side, shoving Dennis’s leg away. He pulled me up by his side, “Joanna, are you okay?” He tried smoothing my hair with his hand but I flicked it away. I grumbled and pushed him away. Dennis smirked, “Seems that missy doesn’t like you, Glen.” He punched him hard in the stomach, but Dennis didn’t flinched. “Whatever, bastard. As if any girl will like you, you will beat anyone you see!” That offended him a lot. “Say that again! You better keep your crap shut too!” He hit Glen’s jaw with his metal-like fist, disjointing it effectively. One hit came after one another, I couldn’t stand it. The blood was gushing everywhere, making it seem like an artist spraying red all over a destroyed painting. This was slowly making me insane. I was going to die from insanity. The insanity of suffering was killing me with its silent violent. But, I was not going to let it. I crept into the hell room again, remembering an open window on the end of the room. I shielded my eyes from the destructive display, while I looked forward to my sweet escape.

Luckily, the window was a bar-less one, unlike the front door, and cold wind was blowing through it. I shivered but I tolerated as I slowly climbed out of the window. Fortunately again, the house was flat and had only one story. I jumped with caution, so to not interrupt their stupid fight. As soon as I got out of my nightmare, I ran and ran and ran with my little strength. Then, I passed by a police station. I didn’t know if I should, but I followed my heart and entered with confidence, knowing it was the right choice.

I left the station, the burden lifted from my heart when I reported everything to them. They were shocked by what I said, nearly not even believing me, but I kept telling them that it was all true and honest. They wanted to keep me in for more investigations but I objected. I didn’t want to see the look on Glen’s face; it would sent shivers down my spine. They surprisingly understood and allowed me to leave, without even taking my name and address down.
I headed for the supermarket again. At least it wasn’t hell.

After some days later, I saw newspapers filled with headlines, “MURDERERS FINALLY CAUGHT” I didn’t understand why I suddenly felt guilty. Guilty because Glen was so nice to me, at least he tried. And he was a murderer. Maybe he was trying to change for the better, that’s why he needed me. But, why was I that special one to change him? I shook my head, pain flowing instantly into my head. Customers was scared; as if I was a mad woman, ready to pounce on anyone. One of the customers, an old lady, touched my scruffled hair, “Dear, are you okay?” Shocked, I moved away. It was my mother. She had aged so much. “Mum?” The old lady chuckled. “Mum? I’m not your mum, darling.” She didn’t recognise me at all. “If I were your mum, I wouldn’t let you be in this sort of poor condition.” She quietly left, without anymore to say. Teardrops continuously fell on the newspaper cutting of Glen, getting locked away for life.

I woke up from my delusion, alighting at my stop, but soon into another one. When Glen called me.

The family was eating dinner together in the living room, while watching cartoons. The girls were giggling at Spongebob Squarepants, who was surely making a fool of himself. Terra laughed loudly until all the food in her mouth flew everywhere on the table. “Terra!” Daryl scolded, and used a tissue paper to clean it up. “Oh, Terra darling, you have to have more table manners.” I rubbed her head, while she continued laughing her head off. Then, the house phone rang. Tessa ran to get it before I could.

“Hello, may I know who’s this?”

“No, this isn’t Joanna Hartworth.”

“Are you looking for her? Okay, hold on.”

She ran to me with the cordless phone. “Mummy, it’s a man called Glen Hawkins. Do you know him?”

The blood in my veins froze but the beat of my heart increased.

Glen Hawkins? Glen, the murderer, who liked me years ago? Daryl looked at me cautiously, afraid that I would burst again. “Joan, you alright?” I nodded quickly, didn’t know if to answer the phone. “Who’s this Glen?” He asked suspiciously. “Oh, just a friend.” I replied blankly. “Mummy,” Tessa pushed on. “You can’t make someone wait for you.”

I was shocked at what Tessa said, remembering that time a girl called her and she was taking her time. I told her exactly what she said. Regrets screamed at my ears.

Taking the phone off her hand, I rushed into the kitchen.

I carefully placed the phone on my ear, not touching it; afraid suddenly a knife would cut through the phone.

“H-hhello?”

“Hi, dear.”

I gulped.

“So, how’s life? Great having a family of your own, isn’t it?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Aww, don’t be like this. Say something.”

I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Sorry, Glen! Sorry, sorry!” I burst into tears, but I tried to make it silent as possible.

He smirked. I could make out what he silently said,

“Bitch.”

There was silence between us. Did Glen held a grudge against me like Dennis? Of course, he did.

“You know, you really changed my life?” He finally spoke. He seemed to be talking to someone

else too.

I foolishly replied, “I did?”

He laughed. “Yes.” His voice was gentle.

Then, he shouted harshly, “I WAS GOING TO GET HANGED! I TELL YOU, HANGED! I BET YOU MUST LOVE THE FACT THAT I WAS GONNA BE GONE, RIGHT?” He laughed, but now I could hear any evil edge to it.

He continued,

“BUT I AM FREE NOW! NO MORE SICKENING ROOM MATES, OR SOME STINKY DISGUSTING FOOD! I’M FREE TO DO ANYTHING, LIKE …LIKE,KILL YOUR HAPPINESS!” I heard the wicked laughter of two men. Dennis was still there. They both had escaped.

“I WAS WRONG TO HAVE LIKED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE, JO!”

I gulped again at the nickname he gave me.

“YOU’RE A FILTHY ****ING BITCH WHO ONLY KNOWS HOW TO GO SPREAD IT, RATHER THAN KEEP IT SEALED. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JO DEAR! BYE SWEETHEART! SEE YOU AT THE FUNERAL!”

He put down the phone. He just put down my life.

As the days slowly passed, I feared every single day, that my girls would just disappear.